Tidbits

Oy, sorry for the ridiculously long hiatus. Now that the world cup is over- no comment (and by no comment I mean I won't harangue you with a lecture on a. terrible calls and b. why I still won't support video instant reply) I'm back to blogging. Full length snark will return shortly. For now...tidbits!
-Rachel Maddow's video editorial on the war in Afghanistan.
-Awesome graphic of the History of Nuclear Testing (wait for it...)
-I'm already bored with the new Kristof-drama (there's always drama with the Kristof) but it's still going strong in the blogosphere. Here and here should give you all the links you need to drown yourself in anti-Kristof-sass. Here is a more thorough response. I'm still not waving the Kristof-celeb-journo flag- as previously mentioned, but this is (already agreed upon) old hat. 
However, let me offer you some new and hilarious "Africa is scary & We know what's best for poor people!" theatrics. Enjoy.
-Take a listen to Fairuz (Nihad Haddad) featured on NPR's "50 Great Voices".

Listen here!

Nas & Damian Marley have a new album coming out on May 18 (scuse me while I nerd out for a second) and this is the latest song to be leaked. It features K'naan (nerding out overtime) who can do no wrong in my opinion. 

Check out Africa Must Wake Up  

Sidenote: I recently saw Nas, Damian and K'naan perform together and I promise you, you want tickets when this tour happens. 

Jon Stewart and his magical jokes

Remember when TIME did that poll and found out that Jon Stewart was America's most trusted newscaster? And everyone sort of went "Yup, yup, that's about right"?


Last week Jon Stewart opened his show with a short segment on the recent comedy central/south park controversy and I found it strangely poignant. Recently an episode of South Park was created in which the Prophet Muhammad is satirized. Apparently this ticked off a new york based group called Revolution Muslim who posted a written response to what they called an "outright insult" of the Prophet:

"We have to warn Matt and Trey that what they are doing is stupid, and they will probably wind up like Theo van Gogh for airing this show. This is not a threat, but a warning of the reality of what will likely happen to them.”

(Which is basically like saying "Dude, I'm not gonna go after you, but someone else might. And in fact I can pretty much confirm that they will. I mean, I don't know who it's gonna be since it won't be me. But it's definitely gonna happen. By someone else. Not me. But it will definitely for sure 100% happen...by someone else who is as yet unknown.")


Theo van Gogh was the Dutch filmmaker killed by an Islamic militant in 2004 in response to a film he made criticizing aspects of Muslim society. 


Comedy Central, the network which hosts South Park, censored the episode by "bleeping out" several words and sections. They also decided not to put it online as they normally do and to not re-air it during the expected repeat-performance time-slot. Though this was all confirmed by a Comedy Central spokesperson, they declined to say it was in response to the Revolution Muslim blog posting. 


Though the creators of South Park have censored their own work on the Prophet before it was just that: self-censorship. This time however, they say that Comedy Central took a red pen to the episode on their own accord. 


During Jon Stewart's piece last night he expertly toed the line between serious commentary and hilarious satire. Jon (also hosted by Comedy Central) recognized that what had happened was definitely censorship but suggested that it had been done to protect staff. After revealing that Revolution Muslim was a group based in NYC, and subsequently protected by Free Speech he thanked the audience for how well they've handled the barrage of religious jokes over the years. After playing a montage of past clips in which all religions, including atheism ("The religion devoted to the worship of one's own smug sense of superiority) were equally manhandled in the tradition of The Daily Show. 


Then Jon launched into an interview with his "Senior Islamic Correspondent" Aasif Mandvi, asking him what he thought about the controversy to which Aasif responded "Well, What am I Jon? Every Muslim in the world? I represent all Muslims?" to which Jon smirked, shrugged and replied "Well in this building actually...". When Aasif was asked if he would be offended by a depiction of the Prophet in some form (Islam forbids the depiction of Muhammad) to which Aasif responded in an unusually frank tone, that while being a "Liberal Muslim" he would in fact be uncomfortable and that he can "understand people being upset about it". Did anyone else find this to be a particularly brave acknowledgment and then subsequently do an internal "wow-that-reaction-is-uncomfortable" double-take? Pretty poignant for The Daily Show.


Aasif then berated the New York based group, saying "Here's what's more upsetting; someone in the name of a faith that I believe in, threatening another person for doing it" because "A, It's just so 12th century and B, I don't like having to walk around wearing this suit". He then stood up and turned around to show the audience that his suit-back was covered with an American flag. 


Bravo to the writers of the Daily Show for telling the truth in style. 

Places where maybe the winner isn't the one who gets the most votes: Sudan edition

Sorry for the hiatus!

I'm currently nerding out over the voting in Sudan. The landmark elections started on sunday, were meant to end on Tuesday, and are now being extended until Thursday due to a delay in delivering ballot papers to polling stations. It's Sudan's first multi-party election in 24 years and the vote includes the next president (I'm going to go ahead and bet a giant monetary sum on the winner here. No takers?) and the 450-member National Assembly. Additionally governors, legislative bodies of the 25 states and a regional Southern president and 171 seat assembly will be chosen.  This might seem like a lot but seriously don't worry because the ballots have gorgeous beauty shots of the candidates on them. All one billion candidates.

The current prez of Sudan and everyones favorite dictator is Bashir who currently holds the honorable distinction of being the first sitting head of state to have an arrest warrant issued by the ICC on him. It's no big deal, just 7 counts of war crimes and crimes against humanity for that whole Darfur debacle. 

The elections are a result of the Comprehensive Peace Agreement signed in 2005 after two decades of civil war between Sudan's North and South. Provisions of that treaty also include 2011 elections for Southern independence- the outcome of which Bashir has said he will respect. Which seemed slightly fishy. 

So far voting is shaping up to be pretty corrupt and not real. Here and here for just a few "These elections are fake" reports. A bunch of important opposition parties have boycotted in light of the fore-mentioned fakery which is a little bit of a deja-vu treat as B won the last two polls thanks in part to a large opposition-party boycott. One of the main parties to boycott was the Sudans People's Liberation Movement (SPLM), the dominant party in South Sudan. After announcing a seemingly full boycott, the leader Salva Kiir announced that in fact SPLM would be running with the exception of elections for country-president and spots in Darfur. Um. There's been serious speculation that the SPLM is stepping aside and letting Bashir and his party win in order to ensure the 2011 referendum on Southern independence. 

In light of all of this there was a recent call for a delay in election to which Bashir responded in his usual reasonable manner:

 "We have accepted the arrival of foreign observers for the elections, but if they ask that the vote be postponed, we will expel them. We expect observers to say whether the elections are free and fair, but if they intervene in our affairs, then we will cut off their fingers and crush them under our shoes." 

- Very cool song and video by Alsara and Oddisee created on behalf of the Girifna Movement (Arabic for "we are fed up", a group started by young Sudanese citizens working on getting the vote out). HT to the awesome Africa is a Country blog, which has also posted the lyrics. 

-On why this might be the most confusing election ever. 

- Some photos from the BBC

Tidbits

-Love this song by Tanzanian Danish band Mzunga Kichaa . (HT to Mo'dernity, Mo'problems)

-Saudi Arabia has an "American-Idol-esque" show where contestants compete by reciting poetry instead of singing. Thumbs up! Thumbs down for the scary response female contestants get.

-"The Lady Gaga" of first ladies.

-The Rise of Islamo-Erotica. 

-Just no.

-50 things you didn't know about Africa! Or maybe you did and this is just a list of 50 things I didn't know about Africa.

Tidbits

-No, you don't know anything about Mexican food. Especially, as it turns out, Salsa.

-Nepal: It's okay to be Gay! If you're rich! Three cheers for equality!

-Somali pirate business model. It's a real thing. 

-Africa's growth chart! Look how big they're all getting! ...kind of.

-Harsha Bhogle gives us the story of cricket in India and how it's shaped the country. Totally worth the long run-time for the "Mumbai Style" advert for the sport. (Hattip to Spam)

- Recently, I've been revisiting the incredible Bela Fleck's 2009 album "Throw down your heart". In it he teamed up with musicians in Africa and the States to create a very very cool project. Check it out. 

Okay, I'm not walking up a 39-story building.

Two interesting articles on Land and Home- and maybe the relationship between the two.

- The Urban Think Tank, an architecture practice based in Caracas with strong ties to the US, focuses on ways to build up slums/barrios. The approach is interesting as they aren't trying to rid cities of slums, but rather figuring out ways to enable communities to better them. (For everyone doing the cringe right now, just keep reading!) By "respecting" the growth and need for barrios they have developed various projects, arguing that slums present a would-be-standard model of living and instead of being destroyed should be improved. Recently they helped develop the Metro Cable system, a cable car system that connects barrio communities to the Caracas subway. Pretty awesome considering the alternative would be an unwieldy thirty minute climb equivalent to walking as high as a 39-story building.

True, slums are usually seen as an unwelcome byproduct of various events and the product of poor governing. However UTT argues, it gives communities a chance to proactively create their own homes and thus bear responsibility for them.

I like the idea of improving slums versus cutting them down- in the past that has just led to displacement of entire communities who inevitably will have to go and build housing elsewhere as the people who get rid of the slums rarely build apartments in their place. But I got a little squeamish when the architects seem to dismiss issues of safety:

" John Mutter, Director of Graduate Studies in Sustainable Development at Columbia University, says there is not enough focus devoted to safety in settings like Venezuela's barrios. "Earthquakes kill people because buildings collapse," he points out. The tragedy in Haiti illustrates this risk. The aftermath of natural disasters in rapidly urbanized areas makes most professionals shake their heads and point to poor planning and policy, but Mutter [The architect in question] considers this a typical "outsider" perspective, one that runs contrary to the trend in development toward empowering locals. "

-Awesome post from Tales From The Hood (Swoon!) about the fundamental importance of land to people and its place in sustainable aid/development work. Brings up issues of refugee/IDP camps and that whole can of worms.

Hurrah! Huzzah! Brava & Bravo!

Oh hey, remember when South African President Zuma was accused of rape by his deceased friends daughter? And Prez Z was all "Yeah we had sex but it was consensual. Oh and yeah, I totes know she's HIV positive and I didn't use a condom, but no worries because I took a shower afterwards*". And remember how Zuma supporters carried signs that said "How much did they pay you,nondindwa [bitch]?" Don't forget about how Z assured the court of her desire to sleep with him as was surely indicated by her "wearing a knee length skirt". And then remember how Zuma was cleared of all charges? 


Well last January, Z's bff (and the powerful ANC Youth League Leader) Julius Malema told a group of 150 university students that it was obvious that the woman had enjoyed having sex with Z and it must have been consensual since she asked for taxi money and spent the night. Then he shared some words of wisdom:


 "When a woman didn't enjoy it, she leaves early in the morning. Those who had a nice time will wait until the sun comes out, request breakfast and ask for taxi money."


Gee thanks Julius! I had been wondering if there was a surefire way to tell. 


Obviously this kind of rhetoric is horrifying on it's own, but even scarier when taken in context. It's estimated that 1/3 South African women are rape survivors. A recent survey showed that 1/4 men admitted to raping someone with most having raped more than one person. As is the case in most nations, a small fraction of those rapes are reported and only 7 percent of those reported lead to conviction. So when a well-known and influential politician publicly conveys rape stereotypes and supports survivor stigmatization, it seems ehhh...irresponsible. 


Enter The Sonke Gender Justice Network which works to actively engage boys and men in the promotion of gender equality and the prevention of sexual violence. (By the way, how cool is it that they work specifically with boys and men?) Sonke bravely brought up formal charges of hate speech against Malema for the above gem-of-a-quote. And yesterday a South African court ruled that he is in fact guilty of hate speech and discrimination. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


EPIC! EPIC! EPIC!  


Watch this video on Sonke's journey and reason for bringing charges against Malema.  Fast forward to 5:13 for serious inspiration. 


Brava and Bravo!
___________
* As a former sex educator and current human being, I feel compelled to remind Z and all his cronies, that surprise! Showering after sex is exactly 0% effective at preventing any STI or HIV transmission. But you already knew that. 

Israeli advertisements are very... Israeli.

Alright so I haven't blogged about the Dubai-assassination scandal because it has literally overwhelmed me with it's hilarity. The costumes, the CCTV footage, the passport forgery and the general sloppiness of the whole thing have led me to believe that this might have been a bad BBC-mini series gone wrong. I'm thinking the hired B-list actors went a little wild and crossed the line.

In any event I continue to revel in the unfolding events of this story and have little to no desire for the truth to be "confirmed" lest it get in the way of the ever growing vault of resulting absurdities. Like this! There is  a short list of countries who could get away with this kind of humor...

p.s- This isn't about the Dubai "mystery" but it is about really hilarious/ridiculous Israeli adverts.

Tidbits

-That would be Chile's new President Sebastian Pinera getting licked on the face by his granddaughter. Poor Esperanza's got her family blackmail photo on the interweb. 

-Almost 100,000 UN peacekeepers and you'll never guess where most of them come from. (And here for why that's so) Hattip @ Texas in Africa.

-The US sells a lotta lotta guns.

-The Lemba people of Zimbabwe say what New Yorkers have been saying forever.

-Q always always wins. 

Tidbits

-Oh wait, you mean everyone can access facebook? Whoops!


-Check out this online campaign from ARASA (AIDS&Rights Alliance for Southern Africa). (Click on the bills) There's one for my bf Mugabe!


-More things in China that can make you uncomfortable! 


-Jessica Simpson has been getting some criticism for her new reality show on VH1, "The Price of Beauty" since it's centered around her "western perception" and blah blah but um, she's from Texas okay? So yeah, it's definitely centered around her western perception of culture. Anyway, I think this looks pretty cool.


-Apparently Kim Jong Il is totes into Austria (sidenote: if you know me, you know that this article had me in stiches)


-Photo Essay: The Real Hurt Locker


-Alanna Shaikh is right on the money in the classic vein of "Knowing what's best for poor people". 

Fun with Voting!

I love love love elections. Even though they tend to be corrupt, totally undemocratic, and deeply flawed in some way or another- well, they just give me the feel good goosebumps. Today, Togo and Iraq get it on.

Well, Hello Togo! You tiny-country-of-just 6.6 million! Today more than 500 observers from the AU, ECOWAS (The Economic Community of West African States) and the EU will be monitoring elections for a new head of state. So far things are looking peaceful as people take to voting between Faure Gnassingbe and um the opposition (there are 6 other candidates). Faure Gnassingbe is the current President and son of Papa Gnassingbe Eyadema who ruled Togo from 1967 until his death in 2005. Papa G was the longest ruler of an African nation at the time of his death- what a telling little BONUS! Baby G was installed as leader right after his father died by the chief of Togolese army. People didn't like that (weird) so Baby G stepped down for two months until elections were held and SURPRISE!- he won. Some things are just meant to be. (Subtext if you didn't get it already: many believed these elections were not, you know, legitimate and the post-election violence led to hundreds of deaths of protesters by the military.)

Signs of a fair election are relatively strong and there is an independent electoral commission. However during a press conference on wednesday the head of said commission dropped the following bad boy "We must all keep in mind that our chosen candidate may or may not be the one chosen by the majority." That sounds suspiciously like the American electoral college, or other things that don't make democratic sense but we'll see.

Today also marks the early elections in Iraq. Actual election day is on March 7th, today gives those who will be working for security (members of the security forces and medical workers) a chance to vote. There are 6,200 candidates for 325 seats in the new Parliament. Which seems like too much of a good thing but I have a hard time making simple decisions so. The elected Parliament members than pick the Prime Minister. There's been a ton of run-up drama including the disqualification of about 500 candidates (they had "ties" to the now-illegal Baath Party, that would be good-ole Saddam's party). It was eventually overturned by the courts-they said they would deal with any issues of disqualifications after the elections, which seems like a really really terrible idea. A monumentally terrible idea in fact. Here and here are two pretty decent basic overviews of the elections. Here's a bit on the coalitions.

And now a toast. Let us all raise our champagne glasses to Togo and Iraq. May your elections be actual free and fair elections, may your people not feel obliged to protest in the streets due to election corruption, but still have the government sanctioned right to do so if they please! Cheers!

________________
Update: There's already been a series of bombings at polling stations killing at least 20 people. If you check out AlJaz they have a "Latest updates from Iraq" twitter feed where you are invited to refresh the page every ten seconds.

Tidbits

-The Chicago Project on Security and Terrorism has a new website with a searchable database of all known instances of suicide terrorism between 1981 and 2001( it will eventually be brought up to date). It has a ton of filters including gender and campaign type. So ummm...have fun.

-Afghani model search- Drama! 

-Guess which country has the highest incarceration rate in the world? You get one guess.

-The incredible winners of the world press photo awards

-Makes the healthcare debates easier to swallow

-This article freaks me out. Partly because of the irritating "Alice in Wonderland" metaphor and partly because of it's actual substance re: Afghanistan/Pakistan.

The UN and the Shabab party hard. Just not together.

Today the top UN envoy to Somalia praised the government as being "strong" and "united" in recognition of it's one-year anniversary. (Please hold your snickers and eye-rolling). The always festive Shabab* jumped on the party bus and decided to celebrate by banning UN food aid (and here). Pretty tacky timing. 

The UN as always, is right on the money by congratulating a government which has presided ( I use that word loosely as the government can be described as "ineffectual") over a country which has been called the "Worlds worst humanitarian crisis" and "The Most Failed State**". So I'm not sure congrats are in order here. Perhaps a subdued floral arrangement. For more on Somalia check out the BBC's country profile and Human Rights Watch's World Report on the country. 

The UN's World Food Program responded by saying that they will continue to provide aid to Somalia "however possible". Whatever that means.


Food aid in Somalia has been a hot topic for a while now. Recently the US set restrictions on aid  to Somalia resulting in less than 2/3 of promised aid being delivered. Somehow they got the notion (some would say they "realized") that American donations were being partially funneled to the Shabab. Not surprising considering how many people live in Shabab-controlled territories. Also, In January the UN World Food Program suspended food deliveries to parts of Somalia after the Shabab continued to make demands including a "security fee" and the dismissal of female staff members.

Looks like the Shabab crashed the UN's party again today. Perhaps in the future both sides should consider employing new methods of communication to keep each other in the loop. Twitter might work. 

_________

*The main insurgency group in Somalia since 2006. Al Shabab or Harakat Al-shabab Mujahdeen is a sharia-seeking organization of fighters who control much of Somalia, are affiliated with Al Qaeda and have generally helped push the country on it's current path of havoc and no meaningful central-government since 1991. They are often referred to as the Somali Taliban thanks to their hard-core shenanigans which include cutting off the hands of thieves, forcibly removing gold fillings from peoples teeth and the now infamous stoning of a 13-year old rape survivor who was accused of adultery. 

**The New Yorker wrote a great piece on Somalia and the president Sheikh Sharif Sheikh Ahmed from December of 2009, called (not surprisingly ) "The Most Failed State". Here's the link if you have a subscription or access.

In which I further declare my love for Qaddafi

It's no secret that I think Q should have his own reality show. Fellow participants on said reality show could include Mugabe, Ahmadinejad, and for purposes of rounding things out Karzai, but we all know who would take front and center. Q continues to earn his keep on my top-5-dictators list by just being himself. Bravo Q. Bra-vo. In the latest installment of "Why I would get cable for a reality show about Q":

A squabble developed in 2008 between Switzerland (She of delicious chocolate, neutrality, and the scary banning of Minarets) and Libya when 

Q's wife and son were arrested in Geneva. It seems their "servants" complained of being physically assaulted- 

a misunderstanding I'm sure. They were released and charges were dropped but Q decided it was time to rumble 

and called Switzerland out on the playground. A series of mildly amusing events followed in which Q had some 

Swiss businessmen arrested in Libya, cancelled oil supplies to the o-holy-neutral one, denied visa's to Swiss citizens,

recalled its diplomats and (my favorite) withdrew billions of dollars from Swiss bank accounts. 

Anyone else imagining Q pacing back and forth muttering " But how can we get to the Swiss!? 

What do they have besides delicious sweets and three official languages? Hmmmm....yes, I know! BANKS!" (angry fist shake here)

In the latest Switzerland-Libya middle school brawl, Q announced during a recent meeting that "Any Muslim in any part of the world who works with Switzerland is an apostate, is against (the Prophet) Mohammad, and God and the Qur'an." Ehhh...I'm relatively certain that he doesn't have the religious credentials to make that kind of declaration, but let's move on.

He also stated that "The masses of Muslims must go to all airports in the Islamic world and prevent any Swiss plane landing, to all harbours and prevent any Swiss ships docking, inspect all shops and markets to stop any Swiss goods being sold." What he didn't address was what said citizens of the "Islamic world" were supposed to do when faced with row upon row of the delicious Swiss confectionary goods- purchase and devour it all in order to save their fellow citizens from a life of dissent and shame? Sounds about right.

No word yet on Switzerland's proposed method of retaliation though my gut tells me that Q's got the wedgie of a lifetime coming to him.  

Tidbits

-The EU fights and the rest of the world laughs.

-Guess how inefficient the US Senate is. 290 times, that's how many.

-The French do everything sexier, even their anti-smoking ads.

-Next time you're in China and want to do something creepy. 

-New single from DJ Mujava! (South African DJ loved by skinny-jean wearers everywhere) 

-A fantastic photo series by Jan Banning of bureaucrats from around the world at their desks.

-New American Embassy in London will cost more than it's Baghdad-equivalent. I'm guessing the plans for a 100 ft wide moat have something to do with that.

-A powerpoint presentation made by the former UN war crimes prosecutor for Guinea's military junta: File this under "Things I could have made in 8th grade" and also "Things that might be part of an elaborate international joke"

I wasn't aware that Aborigines single-handedly kept the alcohol and porn industry alive in Australia. But now I am.

The UN is all set to release a damning report on Australia's new initiative knows as "the intervention".  Everyone knows that interventions are just an excuse to get all self-righteous on that one cousin who always has a little too much to drink at the annual new years party and inevitably passes out before midnight.* Then one of the aunts says "You don't see the rest of us drowning our sorrows in a gallon of vodka do you Brian?" Slowly Brian comes to see that yes, you were right, he's a total lush. And then the rest of his family has complete control over any future decisions he has to make as he is totally incompetent and practically permanently drunk.

Well this is just the Australian version of that. So substitute your family with the Australian government and Brian with Aborigines. That's right, all of them. 

The Australian government has decided that cases of child sexual abuse in remote Aboriginal communities has hit real real high and unacceptable numbers. I would give you an actual figure there in place of that ridiculously vague description, but oh wait, the Australian government hasn't actually provided any. In order to prevent said "real real high and unacceptable numbers"the Aussie government (to avoid repetition I'm going to have to utilize a lot of annoying Australian-nicknames so get ready) has decided to get to the root of the problem. Alcohol and hard-core porn. 

Everyone knows that the main causes of sexual abuse are getting soused and watching movies whose titles are poorly veiled references to various parts of the body. Everyone just knows that. So the government down under  came up with "The intervention" which bans alcohol and hard-core porn from the Aboriginal communities while restricting how they spend their welfare checks. And yes, this only applies to the Aborigines. 

But oh darn! There's that pesky 1975 Australian anti-discrimination law the "Racial Discrimination Act", which would effectively do away with "The intervention" what with it being...racially discriminatory. But don't worry! The government was able to neatly suspend it's own law to make room for the new one. 

Things I'm wondering:

-Who decides what constitutes "Hard-core porn"? Is there a check-list for this sort of thing? A committee perhaps? Do people get elected or promoted to said committee? 

-Doesn't the Australian government know that no one-NO ONE!- can keep man or woman away from his or her liquor or hard-core porn?!? As the UN special rapporteur on indigenous human rights James Anaya put it "Have the alcohol restrictions actually reduced consumption? There's no evidence for it." 

- I suspect that not all sexual abuse against children in Australia is done by Aborigines. So if these bans apply only to Aboriginals does that mean that non-Aborigine Australians are committing these crimes due to other illicit stimuli? Shouldn't the government be putting a LOT of money into figuring out what causes the white man to do bad things? Chocolate? Science fiction novels? Fakin bacon? This could probably lead to some kind of serious international prize.

I get this feeling that initiatives which require the suspension of laws that  forbid racial discrimination are in poor taste. But hey, that's just me. 

*Wow. I was just kidding.

Tidbits

-An outstanding collection of photos from conflict-photographers.

-China and Mugabe: BFF!

-All news is related. And apparently it's all related to Obama.

-Genetically altered mosquitoes may curb disease and even death for about 2.5 billion people! (I'm actively ignoring how creepy it is that there may soon be "flightless mosquitoes")

-Listen to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan: late Pakistani singer of Qawwali, a form of Sufi music.

-"ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE MUSLIM!"

(here to watch the series.) P.S- some of these aren't work-appropriate.

-Watch the World Cup anthem by the incredible incredible K'naan & David Bisbal which is a remake of K'naan's brilliant "Wavin' flag" - about his childhood in Somalia. And here he is performing the original original gorgeous version of the song.

Nigeria & Niger: Not the same country!

So by now you've all heard of the coup that took place in Niger. Thankfully, it's turning out to be a little more interesting than the recent one in Honduras which was pretty much a bore-fest the whole way through. To be fair, I really enjoyed when the former leader Zelaya traveled by tractor and car-trunk to reach the Brazilian embassy, where he hid out for a while. That whole episode inspired me to write a political-thriller involving a forbidden love triangle between a Brazilian intern, Zelaya, and the guy who took Z's job, Porfirio Lobo Sosa. (I have yet to write said story so feel free to use my obviously really good and original idea).

The reason I'm loving this particular coup is because it's giving everyone that squishy awkward feeling that you can only get when a democratically-elected-leader-turned-bad is ousted by the military in a definitely-not-democratic fashion. Your immediate verbal diarrhea response is: "Um hello? President Mamadou Tandja? The guy who was elected in 1999 and after ten years tried to stay in power by scrapping the constitution and creating a new one with no term limits?" So then you feel weird because you just defended a coup. And now everyone is looking at you like you support socialism or communism (just kidding! Obviously those are the same thing).

Apparently this little um, "political takeover" is being welcomed by the people of Niger although I'm not there, so I can't really say. But Robert Tate who is a spokesman for the American Embassy in Niamey (capital of Niger- don't worry, neither I nor anyone I asked knew that) assured us that "There was a festive, celebratory mood". Which makes me wonder if Rob Tate is taking part in said party. And are there Cake and party-hats? Noise makers!? If so-IM IN.

The junta has pinky-sworn that this whole she-bang will eventually lead to a civilian run government, but this exact thing has happened in Niger a couple of times already so I'm not gonna bet my life-savings on it being long term, yet. However, they might want to get a move on as the AU has already suspended the country and the EU, UN, and US (along with a bunch of other acronyms) are getting testy.

And now for the silver lining on this whole awkward mess- minus the booting of a budding tyrant (do you LOVE that sentence?). Apparently some traders heard rumors of gunfire and an attempted coup and wanting to you know, get in on the good times (and also make a boat-load of money) they scrambled to buy oil from the African country of...Nigeria. Whoops!

It would have been even more amusing had they looked at a map and attempted to buy oil from the "correct" nation, as Niger doesn't actually produce oil. Anyone else imagining some guy in a suit frantically typing into a computer screaming "But WHERE are the Niger-oil-stocks!? WHERE?!" *

* Apologies if this entire situation is ludicrous and based in no reality whatsoever. My entire knowledge of what stockbrokers do is based on movies set in the 80's.

Happy birthday Mugabe! And happy unemployment-reaches-ninety-percent Zimbabwe!

Robert Mugabe, Zim's only leader since independence in 1980 and one of the members of my very exclusive "top five dictators" list, turns 86 on February 21st. To take a break from the exhausting tasks on his "How to not participate in the unity government that I'm supposed to be a part of but totally-shockingly does not exist" checklist, M has been working on something far more important: his birthday party.

Mugabe traditionally throws the kind of celebrations only dictators can throw- excessively expensive parties funded by money that seems to have come from gee-gosh-out-of nowhere! Each year amidst political turmoil, deep poverty and unemployment, catastrophic hyperinflation, run of the mill human rights abuses and oh cholera epidemics, he continues to outdo himself.

For this months par-tay M has planned an all-night gala lasting twelve hours which will include national and international musicians. This to me seems confusing as the man is turning 86 but perhaps I underestimate his stamina for getting down.

Let's cross our fingers that M's bash-2010 outshines last years. In order to raise the $500,000 spent in 2009 on the super-awesome-b-day-party (that's American dollars people. 500,000 Zim is about $1.30. Hyperinflation is funny that way) M and friends obtained money the good ole fashioned way- Fundraising!

Yes that's right. The gang sent out letters and made some calls. Got in touch with some old friends, and maybe even made some new ones! So similar to the way people raise money for food. To feed people. Who are hungry. And live in nations with a 90% unemployment rate. Or for you know, pinatas.

According to the London Times, donors were "invited to send 'donations' of between $45,000 and $55,000 to a US dollar bank account in the name of the 21st February Movement, a youth organisation controlled by Zanu (PF) and named after the date of the President’s birthday. To be fair this was a significant downgrade from 2008's party which cost $1.2 million, but hey everyone's gotta sacrifice during a national cholera epidemic!

As Wronging Rights so cheerfully asked us last year- "...doesn't it just seem kind of in poor taste for him to live more than twice as long as the average life expectancy in his country?"

Happy birthday Moogy!

Tidbits

-Congolese musical money making, new business model or just really really hilarious? Be sure to scroll down and read the description.

-Pitchfork re-releases Africa 100, a list of 99 tracks that you can actually play from their site meant to serve as an introduction to African music. It would be easy to make my usual snotty comments here but I really really love this, think it's great and therefore will refrain.

-"Middle Class in Africa": Because there actually is one ...a project that examines it. (This is just getting finished up so be on the lookout for more in the coming months)

-A really interesting slideshow format by Jina Moore on a Liberian land feud between siblings

-Insert Green Card joke here.

-This collection of photos on Buzkashi, the national sport of Afghanistan, is pretty cool. Just please ignore the bit about it being a "powerful metaphor for the country's politics".

Things I wish were less amusing: Palestinian edition!

So if you’re one of the 17 people worldwide who has yet to see the incredible Avatar, this will make less sense but still cause you to giggle uncomfortably with the rest of us. A group of Palestinian activists saw a bootleg version of the film, which illustrates the fight of the oppressed and pillaged blue Na’vi-people and the earthlings who are represented solely by what appear to be Americans. (Shocking.)

The Palestinian activists put two and two together and for some reason thought that it would be a good idea to actually dress up like the Na’vi (who let me take this chance to remind you, are blue and have some other non-human features) during a recent protest against the Israeli-built wall surrounding the West Bank (and here and here).

In real news the Israeli military has actually begun to to reroute a part of the west bank wall after five years of Palestinian protests and over two years after the Israeli Supreme Court ruled that the placement of that particular section was unlawful. It had been cutting into the Palestinian village of Bilin in order to make more room for a nearby Jewish settlement. Apparently the residents of Bilin found this inconvenient.

Thumbs up for court rulings that make sense finally being carried out. Thumbs down to people wearing blue face-paint with serious intentions meant to be taken seriously. Because that can never happen.

A late Valentine: Dear Qaddafi

It is with great great sadness that I learned of Muammar al-Qaddafi's recent loss as president of the African Union ( a post he had held the previous year). While I have nothing but the greatest confidence in his ability to continue the charade of absurdities that has been his life during the forty plus years he has held leadership in his country, one can't help but wonder if perhaps one of many theatrical-stages in his life has been lost. Let us for a moment forget about the fact that Qaddafi has made it impossible for his countrymen to vote, participate in politics, or be privileged with you know-human rights, and let's focus on the important thing here: international entertainment value.

Over the past few years Q has contributed more than his fair share to the pot. Let's review my top three Q episodes in no order:

Crazy Q #1: Q hearts Condi.

In September of 2008 Condoleeza Rice becomes the first US secretary of state to visit Libya since 1953. Pretty big deal. Not to be outdone Q offeres up a diamond ring and a pendant with his portrait. On it. Let's be clear, he gave Condoleeza Rice a piece of jewlery with his face on it. Okay.

To be fair, Rice had to be expecting something mildly unsettling and creepy since earlier Q had given an interview to Al-Jaz in which he spewed the following about Rice: "I support my darling black African woman.I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders. ... Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. ... I love her very much. I admire her, and I'm proud of her, because she's a black woman of African origin." So you know, no surprise there.

Crazy Q#2: Q sets out to convert only really really attractive women.

While in Rome for the UN food summit in late 2009, Q anonomously (nice extra bonus touch of creepy) assembled a group of 200 women who were required to be beautiful, between the ages of 18 and 35 and at least 5 1/2 feet tall. There was a conservative dress code and the lovely ladies were promised fifty euros ($75). Q searching for his latest gf? Puh-lease! He had much nobler intentions in mind. After an hour of waiting in a posh residence the women were introduced to the good-times-leader- SURPRISE! After a brief introduction the women watched in horror (okay that's my own little extra speculation there) as Q preached the beauty and benefits of Islam, tried to convert the ladies, and promised them that the religion is not misogynistic. Don't worry he gave each one of the pre-screened-for-beauty women a Qur'an on their way out.

Crazy Q #3: Q has some good ideas for the UN!

While making his first appearance at the UN in 2009 (despite 40 years of um, what's the word..."tyrannical" power) Q- who was definitely introduced at his request as the "King of kings of Africa"*, spent 90 minutes filling his alloted 15 minutes of time rambling about everything from the right of the Taliban to establish an Islamic nation to "wondering" whether or not swine flu was cooked up in a lab as a weapon. He also offered to move UN headquarters to Libya since leaders were so prone to jet lag coming to NY and reminded us of his awesome idea to combine Israel and Palestine into Irastine. He also seemed to tear up a copy of the UN charter saying he didn't recognize the authority of the document which is just plain rude. Did the UN invite you over for coffee and your little speech or what Q?

Other leaders were not amused as his anti-UN-spew led to meeting cancellations, later meetings, and most importantly a total abandonment of the "traditional" two-hour lunch break. In response Stephen Schlesinger, a UN historian, made the following gem of a comment, "I don't think anybody has ever done a real study of the General Assembly speeches before because nobody listens to them". Right on Stephen. Right on.

* Note: I can't confirm that he requested this. But I am making an educated guess.