Tidbits

-The EU fights and the rest of the world laughs.

-Guess how inefficient the US Senate is. 290 times, that's how many.

-The French do everything sexier, even their anti-smoking ads.

-Next time you're in China and want to do something creepy. 

-New single from DJ Mujava! (South African DJ loved by skinny-jean wearers everywhere) 

-A fantastic photo series by Jan Banning of bureaucrats from around the world at their desks.

-New American Embassy in London will cost more than it's Baghdad-equivalent. I'm guessing the plans for a 100 ft wide moat have something to do with that.

-A powerpoint presentation made by the former UN war crimes prosecutor for Guinea's military junta: File this under "Things I could have made in 8th grade" and also "Things that might be part of an elaborate international joke"

I wasn't aware that Aborigines single-handedly kept the alcohol and porn industry alive in Australia. But now I am.

The UN is all set to release a damning report on Australia's new initiative knows as "the intervention".  Everyone knows that interventions are just an excuse to get all self-righteous on that one cousin who always has a little too much to drink at the annual new years party and inevitably passes out before midnight.* Then one of the aunts says "You don't see the rest of us drowning our sorrows in a gallon of vodka do you Brian?" Slowly Brian comes to see that yes, you were right, he's a total lush. And then the rest of his family has complete control over any future decisions he has to make as he is totally incompetent and practically permanently drunk.

Well this is just the Australian version of that. So substitute your family with the Australian government and Brian with Aborigines. That's right, all of them. 

The Australian government has decided that cases of child sexual abuse in remote Aboriginal communities has hit real real high and unacceptable numbers. I would give you an actual figure there in place of that ridiculously vague description, but oh wait, the Australian government hasn't actually provided any. In order to prevent said "real real high and unacceptable numbers"the Aussie government (to avoid repetition I'm going to have to utilize a lot of annoying Australian-nicknames so get ready) has decided to get to the root of the problem. Alcohol and hard-core porn. 

Everyone knows that the main causes of sexual abuse are getting soused and watching movies whose titles are poorly veiled references to various parts of the body. Everyone just knows that. So the government down under  came up with "The intervention" which bans alcohol and hard-core porn from the Aboriginal communities while restricting how they spend their welfare checks. And yes, this only applies to the Aborigines. 

But oh darn! There's that pesky 1975 Australian anti-discrimination law the "Racial Discrimination Act", which would effectively do away with "The intervention" what with it being...racially discriminatory. But don't worry! The government was able to neatly suspend it's own law to make room for the new one. 

Things I'm wondering:

-Who decides what constitutes "Hard-core porn"? Is there a check-list for this sort of thing? A committee perhaps? Do people get elected or promoted to said committee? 

-Doesn't the Australian government know that no one-NO ONE!- can keep man or woman away from his or her liquor or hard-core porn?!? As the UN special rapporteur on indigenous human rights James Anaya put it "Have the alcohol restrictions actually reduced consumption? There's no evidence for it." 

- I suspect that not all sexual abuse against children in Australia is done by Aborigines. So if these bans apply only to Aboriginals does that mean that non-Aborigine Australians are committing these crimes due to other illicit stimuli? Shouldn't the government be putting a LOT of money into figuring out what causes the white man to do bad things? Chocolate? Science fiction novels? Fakin bacon? This could probably lead to some kind of serious international prize.

I get this feeling that initiatives which require the suspension of laws that  forbid racial discrimination are in poor taste. But hey, that's just me. 

*Wow. I was just kidding.

Tidbits

-An outstanding collection of photos from conflict-photographers.

-China and Mugabe: BFF!

-All news is related. And apparently it's all related to Obama.

-Genetically altered mosquitoes may curb disease and even death for about 2.5 billion people! (I'm actively ignoring how creepy it is that there may soon be "flightless mosquitoes")

-Listen to Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan: late Pakistani singer of Qawwali, a form of Sufi music.

-"ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE MUSLIM!"

(here to watch the series.) P.S- some of these aren't work-appropriate.

-Watch the World Cup anthem by the incredible incredible K'naan & David Bisbal which is a remake of K'naan's brilliant "Wavin' flag" - about his childhood in Somalia. And here he is performing the original original gorgeous version of the song.

Nigeria & Niger: Not the same country!

So by now you've all heard of the coup that took place in Niger. Thankfully, it's turning out to be a little more interesting than the recent one in Honduras which was pretty much a bore-fest the whole way through. To be fair, I really enjoyed when the former leader Zelaya traveled by tractor and car-trunk to reach the Brazilian embassy, where he hid out for a while. That whole episode inspired me to write a political-thriller involving a forbidden love triangle between a Brazilian intern, Zelaya, and the guy who took Z's job, Porfirio Lobo Sosa. (I have yet to write said story so feel free to use my obviously really good and original idea).

The reason I'm loving this particular coup is because it's giving everyone that squishy awkward feeling that you can only get when a democratically-elected-leader-turned-bad is ousted by the military in a definitely-not-democratic fashion. Your immediate verbal diarrhea response is: "Um hello? President Mamadou Tandja? The guy who was elected in 1999 and after ten years tried to stay in power by scrapping the constitution and creating a new one with no term limits?" So then you feel weird because you just defended a coup. And now everyone is looking at you like you support socialism or communism (just kidding! Obviously those are the same thing).

Apparently this little um, "political takeover" is being welcomed by the people of Niger although I'm not there, so I can't really say. But Robert Tate who is a spokesman for the American Embassy in Niamey (capital of Niger- don't worry, neither I nor anyone I asked knew that) assured us that "There was a festive, celebratory mood". Which makes me wonder if Rob Tate is taking part in said party. And are there Cake and party-hats? Noise makers!? If so-IM IN.

The junta has pinky-sworn that this whole she-bang will eventually lead to a civilian run government, but this exact thing has happened in Niger a couple of times already so I'm not gonna bet my life-savings on it being long term, yet. However, they might want to get a move on as the AU has already suspended the country and the EU, UN, and US (along with a bunch of other acronyms) are getting testy.

And now for the silver lining on this whole awkward mess- minus the booting of a budding tyrant (do you LOVE that sentence?). Apparently some traders heard rumors of gunfire and an attempted coup and wanting to you know, get in on the good times (and also make a boat-load of money) they scrambled to buy oil from the African country of...Nigeria. Whoops!

It would have been even more amusing had they looked at a map and attempted to buy oil from the "correct" nation, as Niger doesn't actually produce oil. Anyone else imagining some guy in a suit frantically typing into a computer screaming "But WHERE are the Niger-oil-stocks!? WHERE?!" *

* Apologies if this entire situation is ludicrous and based in no reality whatsoever. My entire knowledge of what stockbrokers do is based on movies set in the 80's.

Happy birthday Mugabe! And happy unemployment-reaches-ninety-percent Zimbabwe!

Robert Mugabe, Zim's only leader since independence in 1980 and one of the members of my very exclusive "top five dictators" list, turns 86 on February 21st. To take a break from the exhausting tasks on his "How to not participate in the unity government that I'm supposed to be a part of but totally-shockingly does not exist" checklist, M has been working on something far more important: his birthday party.

Mugabe traditionally throws the kind of celebrations only dictators can throw- excessively expensive parties funded by money that seems to have come from gee-gosh-out-of nowhere! Each year amidst political turmoil, deep poverty and unemployment, catastrophic hyperinflation, run of the mill human rights abuses and oh cholera epidemics, he continues to outdo himself.

For this months par-tay M has planned an all-night gala lasting twelve hours which will include national and international musicians. This to me seems confusing as the man is turning 86 but perhaps I underestimate his stamina for getting down.

Let's cross our fingers that M's bash-2010 outshines last years. In order to raise the $500,000 spent in 2009 on the super-awesome-b-day-party (that's American dollars people. 500,000 Zim is about $1.30. Hyperinflation is funny that way) M and friends obtained money the good ole fashioned way- Fundraising!

Yes that's right. The gang sent out letters and made some calls. Got in touch with some old friends, and maybe even made some new ones! So similar to the way people raise money for food. To feed people. Who are hungry. And live in nations with a 90% unemployment rate. Or for you know, pinatas.

According to the London Times, donors were "invited to send 'donations' of between $45,000 and $55,000 to a US dollar bank account in the name of the 21st February Movement, a youth organisation controlled by Zanu (PF) and named after the date of the President’s birthday. To be fair this was a significant downgrade from 2008's party which cost $1.2 million, but hey everyone's gotta sacrifice during a national cholera epidemic!

As Wronging Rights so cheerfully asked us last year- "...doesn't it just seem kind of in poor taste for him to live more than twice as long as the average life expectancy in his country?"

Happy birthday Moogy!

Tidbits

-Congolese musical money making, new business model or just really really hilarious? Be sure to scroll down and read the description.

-Pitchfork re-releases Africa 100, a list of 99 tracks that you can actually play from their site meant to serve as an introduction to African music. It would be easy to make my usual snotty comments here but I really really love this, think it's great and therefore will refrain.

-"Middle Class in Africa": Because there actually is one ...a project that examines it. (This is just getting finished up so be on the lookout for more in the coming months)

-A really interesting slideshow format by Jina Moore on a Liberian land feud between siblings

-Insert Green Card joke here.

-This collection of photos on Buzkashi, the national sport of Afghanistan, is pretty cool. Just please ignore the bit about it being a "powerful metaphor for the country's politics".

Things I wish were less amusing: Palestinian edition!

So if you’re one of the 17 people worldwide who has yet to see the incredible Avatar, this will make less sense but still cause you to giggle uncomfortably with the rest of us. A group of Palestinian activists saw a bootleg version of the film, which illustrates the fight of the oppressed and pillaged blue Na’vi-people and the earthlings who are represented solely by what appear to be Americans. (Shocking.)

The Palestinian activists put two and two together and for some reason thought that it would be a good idea to actually dress up like the Na’vi (who let me take this chance to remind you, are blue and have some other non-human features) during a recent protest against the Israeli-built wall surrounding the West Bank (and here and here).

In real news the Israeli military has actually begun to to reroute a part of the west bank wall after five years of Palestinian protests and over two years after the Israeli Supreme Court ruled that the placement of that particular section was unlawful. It had been cutting into the Palestinian village of Bilin in order to make more room for a nearby Jewish settlement. Apparently the residents of Bilin found this inconvenient.

Thumbs up for court rulings that make sense finally being carried out. Thumbs down to people wearing blue face-paint with serious intentions meant to be taken seriously. Because that can never happen.

A late Valentine: Dear Qaddafi

It is with great great sadness that I learned of Muammar al-Qaddafi's recent loss as president of the African Union ( a post he had held the previous year). While I have nothing but the greatest confidence in his ability to continue the charade of absurdities that has been his life during the forty plus years he has held leadership in his country, one can't help but wonder if perhaps one of many theatrical-stages in his life has been lost. Let us for a moment forget about the fact that Qaddafi has made it impossible for his countrymen to vote, participate in politics, or be privileged with you know-human rights, and let's focus on the important thing here: international entertainment value.

Over the past few years Q has contributed more than his fair share to the pot. Let's review my top three Q episodes in no order:

Crazy Q #1: Q hearts Condi.

In September of 2008 Condoleeza Rice becomes the first US secretary of state to visit Libya since 1953. Pretty big deal. Not to be outdone Q offeres up a diamond ring and a pendant with his portrait. On it. Let's be clear, he gave Condoleeza Rice a piece of jewlery with his face on it. Okay.

To be fair, Rice had to be expecting something mildly unsettling and creepy since earlier Q had given an interview to Al-Jaz in which he spewed the following about Rice: "I support my darling black African woman.I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders. ... Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. ... I love her very much. I admire her, and I'm proud of her, because she's a black woman of African origin." So you know, no surprise there.

Crazy Q#2: Q sets out to convert only really really attractive women.

While in Rome for the UN food summit in late 2009, Q anonomously (nice extra bonus touch of creepy) assembled a group of 200 women who were required to be beautiful, between the ages of 18 and 35 and at least 5 1/2 feet tall. There was a conservative dress code and the lovely ladies were promised fifty euros ($75). Q searching for his latest gf? Puh-lease! He had much nobler intentions in mind. After an hour of waiting in a posh residence the women were introduced to the good-times-leader- SURPRISE! After a brief introduction the women watched in horror (okay that's my own little extra speculation there) as Q preached the beauty and benefits of Islam, tried to convert the ladies, and promised them that the religion is not misogynistic. Don't worry he gave each one of the pre-screened-for-beauty women a Qur'an on their way out.

Crazy Q #3: Q has some good ideas for the UN!

While making his first appearance at the UN in 2009 (despite 40 years of um, what's the word..."tyrannical" power) Q- who was definitely introduced at his request as the "King of kings of Africa"*, spent 90 minutes filling his alloted 15 minutes of time rambling about everything from the right of the Taliban to establish an Islamic nation to "wondering" whether or not swine flu was cooked up in a lab as a weapon. He also offered to move UN headquarters to Libya since leaders were so prone to jet lag coming to NY and reminded us of his awesome idea to combine Israel and Palestine into Irastine. He also seemed to tear up a copy of the UN charter saying he didn't recognize the authority of the document which is just plain rude. Did the UN invite you over for coffee and your little speech or what Q?

Other leaders were not amused as his anti-UN-spew led to meeting cancellations, later meetings, and most importantly a total abandonment of the "traditional" two-hour lunch break. In response Stephen Schlesinger, a UN historian, made the following gem of a comment, "I don't think anybody has ever done a real study of the General Assembly speeches before because nobody listens to them". Right on Stephen. Right on.

* Note: I can't confirm that he requested this. But I am making an educated guess.

Thank God I know people with Cable

The television conglomerate that is Discovery channel (Seriously do they own everything on cable t.v?)

also runs the channel "Planet Green" which describes itself as the "first and only 24-hour eco-lifestyle television network." Recently I was flipping channels and landed on this little gem: "Blood, Sweat, and T-shirts". Which is a bad title but let's move on.

First things first: BS& T-shirts (Whoops!) was originally created by BBC three. I strongly strongly dislike BBC three: maker of many things ridiculous. (See Lindsay Lohan's recent BBC Three sponsored sex-trafficking "documentary" for further justification. Also you should watch that clip just to see Lin Lohan in her winning hijab and short sleeve convo. Um someone needs to clue homegirl in on what wearing a headscarf is about).

The series centers around six British 20-something year old "fashion addicts" (a.k.a Hipsters), most of whom seem to live with their parents and therefore "do not know the meaning of money". They get shipped off to Indian sweatshops under the guise of learning where their clothing comes from, presumably in order to make the decision to never purchase clothing again and instead wear outfits fashioned from recycled plastic bags.

Watch them as they make ridiculous comments about "wearing clothes once" and "Not caring if their clothes is made by a three-year old or...a fifty year old!" (That last comment was followed by a giggle fyi.) Now watch them go to India to work in a sweatshop and live with their co-workers! See them cry about failing sewing-tests and using squat toilets! Watch their horrified faces when they realize that deoderant costs a days wages! Laugh and cry with them as they realize that THIS SYSTEM IS UNFAIR and THESE PEOPLE ARE BEING ABUSED!

Apparently they cry at the end of the series. But not before we get the distinct feeling that this show is about profiling these unfortunate participants-spoiled brats! Fools! I can't believe they shop at trendy cheap stores! etc..., and not actually learning about sweatshop labor and ways to improve factory-conditions. This is unfortunate because apparently BBC-three has a wide audience, many of whom are younger (hence Lindsay's bbc-bonus-treat). We do however get to see a lot of their indian co-workers. Most of them don't speak english (this is apparent when our friend Stacy tries to ask for the bathroom and instead gets water from an obviously bbc-imposed water tank) and are instead shown chastising the brits and working really really hard. We don't actually learn much about them except what they make each day, that they are "unskilled workers", they ALL sleep in one room (!), and I think maybe two of their names. Also that they get duped in a trade-off between work and mascara (this happens, this is real) and then chastised by the Brits for "disgusting working conditions".

Hmmmm I can't help but think of the words "exploitation" and "stupid". Does this give anyone else the icky-feeling it gives me? To be fair I've only seen one episode but it's not looking good...

Does anyone know of any well-done docs on sweatshop labor?

Kristof asks if identifying a 9-year old rape survivor is ever okay. Um no.

Kristof-drama! (For all you non-nerds Kristof is a reporter/op-ed writer with the NYT who writes two weekly columns. He's also an author and has MAJOR celebrity status, particularly for his work on Darfur.)

I adore Kristof and I think he's done some incredible work but sometimes he gets on the soapbox/high-horse and forgets to come on down to the rest of us.

See K's recent piece on a family who sold their house in order to donate half the money to charity as a good example. Kristof is right that philanthropy and volunteer-work are a fun sexy time but I think most of us read this article, rolled our eyes and moved on. To be fair I actually (prematurely) rolled my eyes at the title: "What Could You Live Without?" Um, almost everything? Including my super-deluxe snuggie? Not the point Kristof!

But I digress.

Kristof's signature move is keeping his writing "personal"-usually picking one person to represent a massive humanitarian problem/conflict/war etc...The idea is that we have more empathy when we aren't overwhelmed by facts and numbers, thereby making us more inclined to actually care. This theory definitely has a lot of weight to it and he wrote an interesting article for Outside Mag on it (note: you get a little taste of his poor judgement in there, also the article is called "How to save the world" so do with that what you will). For all you fellow nerds, there is some actual data crammed in and it does make some relevant points.

However Kristof recently took this to a whole new (scary) level. In a recent op-ed on the DRC he writes about a nine-year old orphan and rape survivor. This is not new for Kristof as he is a huge fan of the "AFRICA IS SCARY" style of reporting (the genius' over at Wronging Rights refer to this phenomenon as "Africa:Land of Rape and Lions"). And don't forget that Kristof loves to "make things personal", but K did ya have to print her real NAME and ohmygod her PHOTO? Did I mention he tells us she contracted an STI? And just for good measure K reminds us in the very same piece that "most raped women are rejected by their husbands, and raped girls like [her]have difficulty marrying"Are you all WTF-ing to your computer screens yet?

Take a peek at the online wrestling match that ensued here here and here . (A bunch of other respectable blogs and journalists also joined in but you'll just have to ask me for those links if you are so inclined). Here's Kristofs response on his blog. He basically defends his decision with the following:
-Her guardian gave consent!
-People don't care and won't put rape on the agenda if I don't tell them her name, favorite color, best friends name....!
-Where she lives, NO ONE has internet or access to the news! So seriously guys, don't worry about it!
-(And then there was some bizarre point about journalists and aid workers being on different sides about HIV or something. In all honestly I think he thought the post was too short and had to beef it up.)

Dear Nick Kristof,

-No. Just no. This nine-year old survivor is unable to make this decision and her guardian should not be able to make it for her. Kristof- a huge supporter of womens rights (he just wrote a whole book on womens issues), has to know that only the survivor can consent. By giving her guardian that power he effectively disenfranchised her in the worst way and possibly put her at massive risk for stigma and all the AWESOME things that come along with it. (Just in case you haven't done any Kristof-reading lately that would include things like verbal and physical harassment) So therefore no. End. Of. Story. Incredibly irresponsible journalism.
- Um. Rape IS on the agenda. People care. In fact I believe it's on the US "Agenda" now more than ever. Here is an article that Wronging Rights posted from the NYT to show us a little about this new "agenda". In any event if it were true that rape was not on this magical "agenda", I'm not sure this 9-year old should have to pay the price.
-Well K, we all know how slowly the interweb moves. Along with word of mouth. So.
-I'm not even addressing this one.

Go America.

Apparently there are some really awesome results of the recent Supreme-o Court ruling on "First Amendment rights of corporations". Like getting to spend an unrestricted amount of money in the hopes of influencing elections. Money can only do good things for democracy!

Also, now public firms (liberal public firms according the NYT....ohhhhh-kay) can and WILL run for office! Corporation says it will run for congress.

No big deal.

(Thanks Matt b!)

An African person singing about Africa! OMG!

she's really incredible too.

Nneka sings "Africans" and Heartbeat