A late Valentine: Dear Qaddafi

It is with great great sadness that I learned of Muammar al-Qaddafi's recent loss as president of the African Union ( a post he had held the previous year). While I have nothing but the greatest confidence in his ability to continue the charade of absurdities that has been his life during the forty plus years he has held leadership in his country, one can't help but wonder if perhaps one of many theatrical-stages in his life has been lost. Let us for a moment forget about the fact that Qaddafi has made it impossible for his countrymen to vote, participate in politics, or be privileged with you know-human rights, and let's focus on the important thing here: international entertainment value.

Over the past few years Q has contributed more than his fair share to the pot. Let's review my top three Q episodes in no order:

Crazy Q #1: Q hearts Condi.

In September of 2008 Condoleeza Rice becomes the first US secretary of state to visit Libya since 1953. Pretty big deal. Not to be outdone Q offeres up a diamond ring and a pendant with his portrait. On it. Let's be clear, he gave Condoleeza Rice a piece of jewlery with his face on it. Okay.

To be fair, Rice had to be expecting something mildly unsettling and creepy since earlier Q had given an interview to Al-Jaz in which he spewed the following about Rice: "I support my darling black African woman.I admire and am very proud of the way she leans back and gives orders to the Arab leaders. ... Leezza, Leezza, Leezza. ... I love her very much. I admire her, and I'm proud of her, because she's a black woman of African origin." So you know, no surprise there.

Crazy Q#2: Q sets out to convert only really really attractive women.

While in Rome for the UN food summit in late 2009, Q anonomously (nice extra bonus touch of creepy) assembled a group of 200 women who were required to be beautiful, between the ages of 18 and 35 and at least 5 1/2 feet tall. There was a conservative dress code and the lovely ladies were promised fifty euros ($75). Q searching for his latest gf? Puh-lease! He had much nobler intentions in mind. After an hour of waiting in a posh residence the women were introduced to the good-times-leader- SURPRISE! After a brief introduction the women watched in horror (okay that's my own little extra speculation there) as Q preached the beauty and benefits of Islam, tried to convert the ladies, and promised them that the religion is not misogynistic. Don't worry he gave each one of the pre-screened-for-beauty women a Qur'an on their way out.

Crazy Q #3: Q has some good ideas for the UN!

While making his first appearance at the UN in 2009 (despite 40 years of um, what's the word..."tyrannical" power) Q- who was definitely introduced at his request as the "King of kings of Africa"*, spent 90 minutes filling his alloted 15 minutes of time rambling about everything from the right of the Taliban to establish an Islamic nation to "wondering" whether or not swine flu was cooked up in a lab as a weapon. He also offered to move UN headquarters to Libya since leaders were so prone to jet lag coming to NY and reminded us of his awesome idea to combine Israel and Palestine into Irastine. He also seemed to tear up a copy of the UN charter saying he didn't recognize the authority of the document which is just plain rude. Did the UN invite you over for coffee and your little speech or what Q?

Other leaders were not amused as his anti-UN-spew led to meeting cancellations, later meetings, and most importantly a total abandonment of the "traditional" two-hour lunch break. In response Stephen Schlesinger, a UN historian, made the following gem of a comment, "I don't think anybody has ever done a real study of the General Assembly speeches before because nobody listens to them". Right on Stephen. Right on.

* Note: I can't confirm that he requested this. But I am making an educated guess.